Why I'm Smiling...

I've been settling into my new environment here in Huntington Beach, CA. The weather itself ("Sunsational") has been an incredible healing agent that my mind and body has been craving daily.  It's amazing how weather can adjust how we feel about ourselves, life, circumstances, and others.  I continue to search for that much wanted affirmation from a potential employer that I "have the job," while following the protocol of the Human Resource pace and process.  I am convinced beyond doubt that I am where I am supposed to be, although I miss the daily interaction with my children and nearness of their lives and activities.  Transition is difficult, but before long a new rhythm in life surfaces and all involved come to a place of internal peace and an accepted external normality that all can live with.  Change in general is anxiety on a platter, more for some than others, but change is inevitable for the living as new challenges and chapters in our lives are written into the script of our story.  Most stories worth reading are full of love, devotion, commitment, success, failure, hardship, suffering, and defeat.  Why should any of our lives not be worth reading?  In my ideological composition blog post Who Am I I declare what is true of all of us,

I am a narrative in the making,

   A happy ending not yet told;

                      A plot unapologetically thickening,

                        An unedited pagination in bold.

Concerning the "happy ending not yet told," it's usually the rest of the story no one wants articulated.  Everyday is a new entry of our own autobiography.  The choices we make, the new friends we discover, the conversations we have, the less fortunate we aid, the problems we solve, the problems we embrace because there is no quick or plausible fix in the mix.  The serenity prayer states, "Help me to change the things I can and to accept the things I cannot change...and help me to know the difference."  How much emotional, mental, spiritual and physical energy do we spend trying to fix the things we cannot change?  Most of us die hard theists believe adamantly that God can change anything, but even God in all His unlimited ability chooses not to fix some things.  Why is this?  It is obviously not for us to know or to question, only embrace what intervention has or has not occurred.  Sometimes in life, "It is what it is." 

I have been enjoying bonding with my sister (where I reside).  Too much time has gone by and I have neglected the discovery of her company  and friendship over the years (literally decades).  She is incredibly strong, beautiful, and wise.  I have lived far away from her and have been way too overly busy by choice to cultivate a more quality relationship with her.  This has recently been a great time of appreciating her as her big brother.  To see her in life, in love, and in her element, has put a smile on my face daily.  She is truly not afraid of living and has no fear of what others think about her...two things I'm in need of learning badly. 

I am also meeting some great new friends and reuniting with old friends from childhood here in Orange County.  I don't know where I'd be right now without the love, acceptance, forgiveness, and affirmation of Harry and Steve...two buds from years ago who have more optimism about my future in their pinkie than I have had in my entire being.  These are true friends, who love you and are there for you when you have done well or failed miserably.  They can hear my heart when I share about my struggles and sit with me without trying to fix me.  That is true friendship, and I thank God for such men in my life :)>